Sunday, 12 April 2015

Netflix has a message for all Australians


No matter what we do, we keep finding Australians watching our programs.

Well, it's ours, so you lot can bugger off! We've tried not selling it to you at all, we've tried selling it to you years after everyone else so the joy of it can be destroyed by the international streams of gossip and spoilers - but no, you use VPNs, you torrent, you even copy from hard drive to hard drive.

You just won't bloody stop! Don't you realise we are doing this because we hate you? We could be making money - but instead, we are taking losses in order to spite you. Don't you get it? We want you all to burn, damn you!

So we paid a huge b̶r̶i̶b̶e̶ donation to the Australian political parties to make sure they would throw you under a bus, and they've finally done it. We look forward to the miserable look on your faces as your favourite cultural events occur without you.

Suffer horribly, you bloody horrible koala buggerers!

Signed,

Netflix.

p.s. Great new deals for Australian customers on Season 27 of "Beige Cubes: the silence". Now only three times what everyone else would pay!

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