Thursday, 1 September 2016
SocJus defends the Continent of Hawaii
Feminist: I am soooo oppressed...
Feminist: You wouldn’t believe how much men are oppressing me right now. Men are just constantly telling me how fucking gorgeous I am. It's making me sick.
Driver: (*silent, face twitches as he watches the road*)
Feminist: (*louder*) I sayyyy, it's making me sick!
Driver: (*quietly*) My son has cancer.
Feminist: Did you not hear me? Were you not listening to a strong woman of colour when she is speaking to you?
Driver: (*looks in mirror*)(*sees a pale young white woman dressed in the clothes his wife will never be able to afford*)
Feminist: Hello! Are you not respond-ding? That’s domestic violence, you know, I should have you reported. And what is that on your dashboard?
Driver: It’s a toy... it reminds me of going on holiday. I don’t get many holidays.
Feminist: I don’t like it, ugh! Get rid of it.
Driver: It was a gift from my wife.
Feminist: It’s oppressing the continent of Hawaii, which you would know if you had bothered to educate yourself.
Driver: I’m not going to get rid of it. Just don’t look at it if you don’t like it.
Feminist: Helloooo, don’t you know who I am? I am the leader of a super-secret cell of Feminists, and we are going to smash the Patriarchy, and if you piss me off, we are starting with you. I can get you fired, just like that. Or I can call the police. Do you want me to call the police? I can call them!
Driver: I’m not getting rid of it. I’m going to drop you off.
Feminist: I AM GOING TO RUIN YOU. You will be made into a meme! Everyone will laugh at you and your stupid son who supposedly has can-cerrr! More like brain cancer for being born with a dick, hahaha! Now fucking take me to my destin-nation!
Driver: Get out of my car.
Feminist: No! I want you to drive me like you are supposed to! Drive me, stupid fucking man!
Driver: Get out!
Feminist: How dare you oppress me?!! This store-reee will be on all websites, and you'll be sorry!
(Driver speeds off, leaving her in the dust)
Feminist: Fucking scum. Fucking incest-loving rape-apologist scum! Hello, Gawker? You'll never believe how much I was oppressed! (*garbled reply*) Yeah, let's rape the fucker!