Thursday, 23 March 2017
Why are people turning far right? It's such a mystery!
Muslim: Death to the unbeliever! Death to the apostate! Death to the homosexual!
Feminist: Oh! Such diversity these brown people have, how quaint!
Commoner: That’s horrible!
Feminist: You can’t say that, that’s racist! You only say that because he is brown!
Commoner: He’s whiter than I am! He just called for your death, did you not hear that?
Feminist: (*dons hijab*) Don’t know what you’re talking about. Anyway, I think talking the way you do is hatecrime!
Commoner: What? So… he just called for people to murder us!
Feminist: You, I’hijabi now!
Commoner: …. he just called for people to murder me, and you say me speaking against that is hatecrime?
Politician: Gee, Feminism is really popular - what can I do to win votes from Feminists?
Commoner: Hey politician! Hey! Hey!
Politician: (*loudly*) BOY, IT IS QUIET AROUND HERE, I ONLY WISH I KNEW WHAT FEMINISTS WANTED…
Feminist: Can you make what he said hatecrime and we will piss on your opponent collectively?
Politician: The people have spoken! Hatecrime is now a crime! Better not hatecrime, you commoner, you!
Politician: Right, that’s hatecrime!
Feminist: No, it’s ok to blaspheme against Christians, ‘cause Jesus is white.
Politician: Oh, right, better write that one down…
Muslim: Wow. I wasn’t arrested. What can I do to strike fear in the name of Allah?
Commoner: Bloody Hell! Won’t anyone help?
Left Wing Politician: Not I! Nothing to see here!
Muslim: What about this knife?
Conservative Politician: I hear nothing! Nothingggg!
Muslim: What about this truck?
Antifa: I want to bash people who speak up against the noble Muslim!
Muslim: I wonder if children will count extra?
Commoner: I’m desperate! I’ll support anyone who will save me!
Far Right Politician: Sounds like my cue!
Other politicians: OMG! He went Far Right! Who could have seen that happening! Clearly this is the fault of someone else!
BBC: GamerGate struck again today, when a commoner started supporting a Far Right ideology. Meanwhile, in unrelated news, someone killed a few people and we’ll never know why, probably white males did it.
Feminist: Toxic masculinity!
Muslim: Shut it, slut!
Feminist: Sorry, sir!